2012 was going to be my fourth year to enter the songwriting contest. This year I selected two songs to enter. Point A to Point B and Red Oklahoma Clay. I liked both of these songs and I hoped that the judges would like them also. I remember where I got the idea for the song Point A to Point B. I have owned many cars that were not in the best of shape. I owned an old Ford F-150 pickup that had some wiring problems. If you wanted to listed to the radio you had to turn on the headlights. This was before they started putting this feature into new cars to make them safer. Maybe, some guy saw me going down the street in broad daylight and thought that would be a great feature on all new cars. My cars were not fun to ride in. My kids would rather walk to school than have me drop them off in front of the school in my car that I bought for $125. My cars did what cars were made to do. They got me from point A to point B without a car payment.
The song was about being broke down on a country road in an old car. I am the main character in the song and I am late for work. I'm just trying to get from home to work. I am changing a tire, looking for a flashlight, trying to get from Point A to Point B. I am feeling sorry for myself in the first verse. In the second verse I hear a song on the radio playing as I'm changing the tires. The song is a kids song. Jesus Loves me. It feels like God is talking to me. When I sing the chorus the second time, it is about getting from earth to heaven. Point A to Point B.
I would of shared the lyrics but that song is in a notebook stuffed in a closet. They say, that you need to write at least a hundred songs before you get good at songwriting. That song was one of my first one hundred. It got some good comments from the evaluators and some suggestions for improvements. One judge wrote- This is a really fine song, you might want to experiment with taking the tempo up just a touch? Just a thought. What an interesting 'spiritual song... it took awhile to get the spiritual aspect of the song. I like the cameo of, Yes, Jesus Loves me. Fun song.
The second judges comments were- The way you are very specific is a real good way to build your image for the listener. (Ferguson road, Slough creek, and finding a little change). The car broke down on Ferguson Road not to far from Slough creek. I lived on Ferguson road in grade school and used to play and fish in Slough creek.
The judge then pointed out some things that needed work. Your rhythm was a little forced in places. The connections between what's happening to the guy in the song and the song on the radio is a little weak because we don't hear what happens after he hears the song. Try developing this some more, you've got a good start.
As a songwriter you have some choices to make when judges make suggestions on your song. If you really like your song the way you wrote it, you don't change it. You leave it as is. If you think the judge is correct and the song is worth keeping. You do the hard work and rewrite it. The old saying about great song, Great songs are not written. Great songs are rewritten. (Probably many times.) The third option is what I did with this song. I called it one of my first one hundred songs and headed on down the road. Just trying to get from Point A to Point B.
The second song I sent was Red Oklahoma Clay. Here are the lyrics to that song.
There ain't no obituary in the OKC Gazette
but there's a memorial service for Lacy Ann Pruett.
She didn't get sick with cancer or die from a heart attack
but she left him forever and she's never coming back.
Chorus- She ain't in purgatory, she's not in heaven or hell
Bottom line, she's gone with no goodbye farewell.
She didn't have to leave, he wonders why she couldn't stay?
Now he's burying her memories in that Red Oklahoma clay.
He's wearing a blue suit with a tie that's green and brown.
A cardboard box sitting by his leg, a spade stuck in the ground.
The box is overflowing with memories and stuff.
And I can tell he's wondering, if this hole is deep enough?
Chorus- She ain't in purgatory, she's not in heaven or hell
Bottom line, she's gone with no goodbye farewell.
She didn't have to leave, he wonders why she couldn't stay?
Now he's burying her memories in that Red Oklahoma clay.
The box is over flowing with memories and stuff.
The air is crisp, the sun is bright, and no other guests are here.
He clears his throat, and bows his head, then wipes away his tears.
Chorus- She ain't in purgatory, she not's in heaven on hell.
bottom line she's gone, with no goodbye farewell.
She didn't have to leave, he wonders why she couldn't stay.
Now he's burying her memories in that Red Oklahoma clay.
He reaches into the box, grabs the first thing he can get
a pink nail file, red hair clip, half a pack of cigarettes
A valentine card with " I love you", picture of their wedding day.
He's burying her memories, in that red Oklahoma clay.
He's burying her memories, in that red Oklahoma clay.
This is the song that won second place in the feeling blue category at the Walnut Valley songwriting contest. It wasn't first place but I was making progress. If the first place winner does not go or show up to play their song on stage, the second place winner gets to play. I drove to Winfield hoping to get to play but the first place winner showed up.
I was excited to get second place but I still hadn't reached my goal of first place and playing on the main stage. The journey continues.
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