Guess what? I was on my way to Walmart to pick up some mulch for the flower garden. I was thinking about the first tow lines of the song. Here are the original lines.

You're the girl next door, with a bad boyfriend

I fell for you before you knew him.

I wasn't a fan of bad boyfriend and did it really matter who fell for who first? Probably not. 

Here is my revised first verse-

You're the girl next door, a cheating boyfriend

The rumor's I hear, You're leaving him

I sit on my front porch, play my guitar

You tell him goodbye, step outta his car.

I think this works better. Bad was to vague. One persons bad could be another persons good. Cheating is definitely bad. Word on the street is their is trouble in paradise. That gives me a good reason to be  sitting on my front porch playing love songs. Also,  the line you tell him goodbye. It could be the final goodbye, which helps explain the second verse.

Second verse- You walk up your  sidewalk, across my lawn

said," Hey Cowboy, play me a song.

Don't make it sad, don't wanna cry

tell me everything's, gonna be alright.

Oops! I see a problem with the last line. Too long. Not conversational. I like this better.

Tell me it's all, gonna be alright.

I am ready to make a second rough demo. How do I define a rough demo? That is anything that I sing. lol I will make this and sent it to NSAI to get a professional evaluator's opinion. Cross your fingers. 

     This is a very important step in the songwriting process. I am thinking this song is done. Good to go. Wrong! I didn't send it to Nashville to get a professional demo made. It it time to get some feedback on the song. I am so close to the process that I can sometimes miss the obvious. Kinda like the commercials for Febreeze on TV where the teenager can't smell his own stinky socks.

      I recorded a rough demo of my song and played it at the monthly NSAI meeting. I like getting feedback at these meetings. Usually you have some songwriters who are really good at the craft of songwriting who are willing to be honest in a nice way. Also, you will have less experienced songwriters who give you their feedback which is different. It is more how a music lover would listen to your song.  Both are equally important.

      Music is subjective. Not everybody will love your songs. It would be great if they did. It is probably a hit song if this is the case. Here are some of the comments that I remember

1. I like the title- Sing- commented on liking on word titlews

2. I don't like the title- I think it would be better if it was Sing with me.

3. I think this sounds like a John Prine song. (this was my favorite) lol

4. I believe it drags a little. Just a few BPM's (beats per minute) faster and it would be better

5. I would like it better if the last half of the bridge was melodically different than the front half.

6. Maybe you don't mention the bad boyfriend, why is he bad?

     How to decide which advice to take or follow. If something is repeated multiple times that is a good sign that it needs more attention. If people disagree then it is debateable. Maybe it doesn't matter. So I listen to the advice and change the ones that bother me. Let take a look at number 2. Change title to sing with me. It ain't going to happen. I have labored to get a title that I like. Remember if I change it to sing with me, it can change the verses and the feel of the song. Number 6- I agree with the bad boyfriend line. I think it needs tweaking. I am probably okay with the song being a little faster. 

     This is my first round of feedback. Feedback is a gift. Sometimes it is a gift that we don't like but we need. Kinda like getting new clothes for Christmas as a kid. Yes, you can always look sharp in a new shirt but not as fun to get as a new basketball. 

   This is a good place in the songwriting process. I have done the hard work. I have lyrics and have been singing melodies to them as I have progressed to this point. I now have what I consider a completed song. Is it done? I wish. I am still going through and trying to find the weakest lines and make them better. The great news is I got a title. I am sure pro songwriters would start with a title and slam this baby out in a couple hours. Not me and not on this song. It has been a 2-3 week process. Here are the lyrics to Sing

You're the girl next door, with a bad boyfriend

I feel for you, before you knew him

I sit on my porch, play my guitar

You tell him goodbye, step outta his car.

Chorus- So I strum a little louder, sing a little sweeter

sing about love, joy it brings.

Hope you like it, Hope you love it,

Hope it makes your heart sing.

You walk up your sidewalk, across my lawn

said, "Hey Cowboy, play me a song.

Don't make it sad, Don't wanna cry.

Tell me everything, gonna be alright.

Chorus- so I strum a little louder, sing a little sweeter

sing about love, joy it brings

Hope you like it, hope you love it,

Hope it makes your heart sing

Bridge- My heart sings love songs

Yes it sings, Baby sing along

Chorus- So I strum a little louder, sing a little sweeter

sing about love, joy it brings

Hope you like it, hope you love it

Hope it makes your heart sing

Hope you like it , hope you love it

Hope it makes your heart sing. 

This is the version that I made a rough demo of to play for my Nashville Songwriting Association International (NSAI) on line chapter meeting. 

    I was playing my chorus over and over and here was a new version that I came up with.

Chorus- So I strum a little louder, sing a little sweeter

Sing about love, like dreamer's do

Hope you like it, Hope you love it

Hope you sing, my song with me.

I really liked the work sing in the last line of the chorus. As a songwriter we want people to sing our songs. We want our new girlfriend to sing the song we wrote for her. I kept singing the chorus and came up with my last line of my chorus. 

Hope it makes your heart sing. That was the line I had been looking for. It was more than her singing my song. The song made her heart sing. She fell for me. This was the plan all along. The girl falls for me because of the song. Here is the new chorus

Chorus- So I strum a little louder, sing a little sweeter

sing about love, joy it brings.

Hope you like it, hope you love it

Hope it makes your heart sing.

Sing is a great word to sing. So I thought I would use it in the bridge

My heart sings love songs

Yes it sings, Baby sing along.

The hook of this song is Makes your heart Sing. The title of the song is Sing. I will share the lyrics tomorrow to Sing. 

    Okay, I'm still searching for that perfect title that I haven't found. On top of that I am trying out verses for the new titles that I am writing. Seeing what works and what doesn't work. I have another Title to try- Perfect like you. Here is how it worked in the chorus.

So I strum a little louder,

sing a little sweeter,

Sing a love song, That's about you.

Hope you like, Hope you love it.

Hope it's perfect, perfect like you.     

     I have a big problem. I don't believe any of my old verses go with the  new title. Let's take a look.

You're the girl next door, with a bad boyfriend

I fell for you, fore you fell for him

I sit on my porch, play my guitar

as you tell him good bye, get outta his car.

So I strum a little louder, 

sing a little sweeter

sing a love song, about you

Hope you like it,

hope you love it

Hope it's perfect, perfect like you.

So I decided to write a verse for this chorus. I wanted it to be about her. After all she is perfect.

I love those peek a boo holes in your ripped  jeans

the way the wind blows your hair in spring

Not a thing about you that I would change

Just one thing, your last name

     I don't like the second line. It rhymes but doesn't do anything for me. It is the weakest line in my new verse and the last name line is pretty cliché to.  Let's talk about some problems with this new title. I like the title Perfect like you but I believe most of the song would need to be rewritten. Instead of investing more time I decide to move on in my title search. This was probably a wise decision. I could save this title and use it later on another song.