i like artists and songwriters whose music is them. It is not about them, it is them. Let me give you an example of this- Larry the Cable Guy. I don't believe his act is an act. I believe ol Larry is just being himself. Warts and all. And that is what I love about him. I want my music to be the same way. I wanted to write a song that smells like my old tennis shoes. Yup. those are Jim's shoes or underwear. I thought the first line of this song was one I had never heard before. I wear whtiey tighties. Not a pretty sight but the truth. lol

     I do have a line in this song that is not the truth. I do own a cell phone but I don't want to. I have two things I love about cell phones. I love map quest. It is nice to be able to get directions on your phone. I have found it to be more reliable and better than the directions from my local Qwiik shop or gas station. The other thing I like is to be able to call someone and say, "I'm here."  and it is great to find someone when you meet them in public. " Hey, I'm over here at the taco tent." 

      Here are the lyrics to the song- Simple Man

I wear whitey tighties and snap button shirts 

 my bluest blue jeans on Sunday to church 

Read the Bible every morning ‘fore my chores 

Spend time on my knees  that’s what their for 

Chorus- I’m a simple man, I ain’t gonna change 

Love dirt roads, don’t want’em paved 

Country born, country raised, I’m gonna stay 

A simple man, I like it this way. 

I don’t own a cell phone or a mastercard 

Got a good enough truck, my Grandad’s old Ford 

Don’t care for the Beatles or the Rolling Stones 

 Just give me some Cash and a little George Jones 

Chorus  I’m a simple man, I ain’t gonna change  

Love dirt roads, don’t want’em paved  

Country born, country raised, I’m gonna stay  

A simple man, I like it this way. 

My son’s gonna grow up, have kids someday 

I’ll be a proud Dad when I hear him say 

Chorus- I’m a simple man, I ain’t gonna change 

Love dirt roads, don’t want’em paved 

Country born, country raised, I’m gonna stay 

A simple man, I like it this way. 

A simple man, I like it this way, ay, ay 

A simple man, I like it this way.

     I am reading Greenlights. It is a real good book so far. I love stories and he is a great story teller . I read a quote that I really liked. The quote is , When we know what we want to do, knowing when to do it, is the hard part. 

     Those words resonated with me. But I didn't know why? It made me think about the first line. Knowing what we want to do?  What is it that I want to do? Write songs? Yes, I 'm already doing that. I know what it is that I want to do. i want to retire. I am tired of jumping through hoops. I'm not against jumping through hoops. I find great satisfaction jumping through hoops. It is a goal. It is achievable. It gives me satisfaction to achieve goals.

      The problem is that they are somebody else's goals. My goals are set by my bosses at work. Oh, but what if I was in control and I set the goals. I worked to achieve my goals and not somebody else's goal. How satisfying would that be? Sounds pretty great to me. 

       I got the first part of this saying down. I know what I want to do. (Retire,) The second part is tougher. Knowing when to do it is the hard part. When?  Today? Tomorrow?  Next week?  Next month? Next year? or wait until I'm sixty-five? Or wait until I can't stand my job  for another day?  

       I don't do well with change. I like a routine. Go to bed at 9, up at 5:30, church on Sunday, mow the yard on my day off, drive the same route to and from work each day, etc. I'm not a gambler or a risk taker. I don't buy lottery tickets. Don't enjoy gong to the Casino. I'd rather buy a cup of coffee for a dollar than to waste it on a lottery ticket. I continue in my normal schedule because that is what I do. I am a rat in a maze.

       I've made some life choices that could of been better. Working at a grocery store is not going to allow you to retire early and vacation in exotic places year round. I have not spent my life saving for retirement. No, it has been spent trying to pay the mortgage, utilities, doctor bills, car repairs, etc. I'm not bitter about where I am. It has been a good ride but the next stage feels scary. Maybe the monster is in my mind. I was talking to my friend Dave. Dave retired from being an airline pilot. He was worried also, and I am sure his finances are better than mine.

       Let me share another thing. This is what I want to do when I retire. I want to pursue this songwriting dream. I would like to play my songs anywhere and everywhere I can. Topeka, Nashville, coffee shops, churches, etc. Will I make any money doing this? (Laugh out Loud)  I am going to chase the dream until I retire and continue the dream after I retire. Knowing when to do it is the hard part. 

     I have been reading  a book by Bruce Springsteen, Born to Run. It is a big book over seven hundred pages. I am about 250 pages into it and Bruce is still struggling to make it in the music business. He has played in three or four bands had some success, especially in his hometown in New Jersey. He was went to California twice and failed to make it big there so he returned to New Jersey. After returning to New Jersey he played with his band at a bar. The place was packed and the crowd loved the music. He was hoping to get a regular gig at the bar, instead he was fired.

      The reason he was fired was because people were listening to the music instead of drinking beer. Selling drinks was what the bar needed to make money. They were in the bar business not the concert business. Bruce decided that his bar band days were burning out. It was time to try something new. 

     He needed to be able to get attention by one of three methods. His voice, his guitar, or his songs.   He could sing. He didn't feel he was the best singer but he could get by. His guitar playing was okay but there were better guitar players. He needed to focus on something that could change the game. The songs would have to be the fireworks. He wanted to be a songwriter that had his own voice, their own story to tell, who could draw you in and make you want to listen to their songs. 

       This is what all songwriters want to do. To tell their story and hope that others can relate to it. To feel what the songwriter is feeling. It might be sadness, happiness, joy, or any number of feelings. I remember when I had my Bruce moment. I was playing music at the coffee shop and it was fun. The coffee shop decided that they wanted to go the band route to draw bigger crowds. Remember, they are in the coffee selling business not the music business. So I decided it was time for a change. 

         I decided to focus on songwriting. I joined NSAI. Nashville Songwriting Association International and started working on the craft of writing songs. It was ten years ago that I made this decision. So today I call myself a songwriter. I wasn't born to run like Bruce, hopefully I was born to write.

         Here is a song to listen to- Bobby McGee.

      I woke up early today. I decided I was going to try to write a song. I have a song that I have been working on called Polaroid Memories. I was planning on working on it. It is a song that I worked on and didn't finish so I started working on it again. Progress has been slow. 

       I flipped on the TV and a preacher was talking about how he came to know Christ. He was talking about how as a teenage he figured out what wasn't working in his life. His Mom was an alcoholic and he knew that wasn't the answer but he still tried it to find out it wasn't the answer to what he needed. He said, He had a God sized hole that he couldn't fill."

       Ding! Ding! That was the songwriter idea bell going off. So I went to my music room and wrote lyrics to my title A God sized hole. The amazing thing is that the song is done. (basically) Songwriters are always tinkering with their songs. Here are the lyrics. 

A God Size Hole

I have a God size hole in the middle of my soul 

that's gnaws at me and screams for more 

so I filled it with money, and expensive things 

I shoveled some more but the hole still remains 

but I found  the answer to life's mysteries 

is filling the emptiness inside of me 

I cry to Jesus, my friend and my Savior 

He will  fill it cause he placed it there. 

but sometimes I still try even though I know better 

a lesson forgotten but I need a reminder 

of whose on the throne, wearing the crown 

my King in heaven who won't let me down 

but I found the answer to life's mysteries 

is filling the emptiness inside of me 

I cry to Jesus, my friend and my Savior 

He will fill it cause he placed it there. 

I have no doubts, you're more than enough 

fill me up, oh Lord fill me up 

but I found the answer to life's mysteries 

is filling the emptiness inside of me. 

I cry to Jesus, my friend and my Savior 

He will fill it cause he placed it there.

      I know why antique furniture goes away. I have a tall table that is an antique. It is the type of table that might be placed on the backside of a couch, an entry way hallway, hidden in a spare bedroom, or in a music room. This is an antique table that I got from my Grandma. Dot. Her name was Dorothy Cowhick and somehow I got this table. Don't know how or why but it has been around for along time. It has somehow made it through it's share of upsizing, downsizing, divorce, remarriage, and it is still around. Amazing!

      I remember when I first got it that it wasn't in the best of shape. I sanded it down, and stained and finished it. If I had to guess I would guess it might of been in the late seventies or the early eighties. I don't remember where it was all of those years. Maybe my Mom had it for a while. It was one of the few pieces of furniture that survived my divorce. It also survived when I got remarried. Mary Ann was not impressed with my (early) American garage sale furniture. She was even less impressed with the artwork that I had on the walls. She made fun of my art but to my credit it was the hottest selling stuff at the garage sale. This might have had more to do with pricing than quality.

      The antique table was getting removed from upstairs. It needed a new home. The last option for it was my music room. Did it really go with my music room? So I set it up and placed a guitar that I refinished to make look old on it. I placed a JESUS sign that I got from my Mom when she passed away. That sign was on  a shelf in her home for years. I need that JESUS sign to remind me to keep my focus on him and his will for my life.

       It was still missing something. One day when I was writing a song I placed a cup of coffee on the table. It was perfect. I loved drinking coffee with my Mom. It was something we loved to do together. Drink coffee and talk. Don't forget to add in some hazelnut creamer. 

       I have a lot of good memories when I look at the table. Jesus and all he has done for me. Remembering this sign on Mom's wall, drinking coffee with my Mom, memories of my Grandma and her table, and a guitar. I love playing guitar. It is one of the most enjoyable small pleasures in life. To be able to sit down and pick or strum a guitar. A lot of good memories are shared in this picture.